Not done yet

I am done with radiotherapy (i.e. going to the Marsden to be zapped) but it is certainly not done with me.  I went there for the last time last Tuesday, but the boob is still cooking. They told me right along it would get worse for 2 weeks before it gets better and guess what? They were right about that, but I am beginning to get the feeling that it’s starting to turn around.

It started to get quite back the Wednesday prior to completion, so that would have been day 16/20.  It was very painful and sore from the inside. It then became almost unbearable and I spent much of my time shirtless in my room with the door closed. I couldn’t stand any sort of contact to the skin, as it increasing looked as burnt as is felt. As of Saturday, 20+4 the skin started cracking and weeping and the pain was quite bad and the skin got worse Sunday.

Yesterday it looked pretty dreadful and it was painful, but I got the sense that I am starting to break the back of this thing. Maybe not the thinking me, but the body I inhabit and it’s automatic processes. I am starting to feel much more awake and alert too.  So, not to speak famous last words, but I think I am already starting to come out the other side. Possibly I am also getting used to the pain. It will be ok and then suddenly feel like someone is sticking hot skewers through me, or the skin feels on fire and sometimes it feels like my bones hurt, or sometimes the pain then seems to shoot through the armpit and down the arm. My arm has felt a bit lame these past few days, but I haven’t actually tried to do anything heavy.

It was kind of funny that for the worst weeks of radiotherapy and its aftershocks, we had cold miserable weather and my little turn around of yesterday has coincided with the glorious weather.

No, I am actually not so narcissistic to think my condition affects global weather….but it was a rather nice coincidence.

As soon as it’s has all calmed down I am going to get into my physio exercises for the top half of me, and I am going to get back on my bike and try to sort out the bottom half of me.

There is the old expression, “It’s not over until the fat lady sings.” Well, I am fatter than ever so I suppose I should post a video blog of myself singing when I am able to scull without stopping every 10 strokes.




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